Thank the pink arrancar
by Rauwrtsch
Summary: Renji has been falling in love with his taichou, but he only finds out about his feelings on their mission, where a pink 'love-arrancar' decides to bring taichou and fukutaichou a little closer together. WARNING, MPREG, ANGST, MXM etc
1. The Bond

Rukia looked at Renji, who was packing up for his mission to Hueco Mundo tonight. He and Kuchiki-taichou would investigate the area around las noches because after Aizen's capture the ruins tended to house some pretty weird, new kind of PINK hollows and arrancar.

For example: only a month ago there was this hollow who could make himself look like the person your heart desired most en then it would seduce you and try to… do things. The moment you gave in and went further with it, you were doomed. Because the moment it released inside of you, poison would spread until 2 minutes later, when you were dead.

They'd only found out about the hollow because Hitsugaya-taichou had walked in on himself trying to seduce Ichigo.

They had captured the hollow and Kurotsuchi had 'investigated' it, eventually being able to explain everyone about what Hitsugaya had somehow, all of it had ended in him and Ichigo getting together

Renji shivered and blushes at the memory of walking in on the two while Hitsugaya was getting what seemed to be the best blowjob of his LIFE.

"so…. Renji… Looking forward to spending some time alone with my nii-sama before the 12th division arrives, or why is it that you're blushing?" Rukia asked grinning.

"Rukia…." Renji's blush brightened at the indication. "It's just a mission! Get your head out of the friggin gutter! And I am NOT, I repeat NOT in any other way involved with Taichou than just as his fukutaichou! You really have to STOP reading those freaky-ass fanfics the SWA keeps writing."

"so I can keep writing them myself then?"

"What? NO!" He sighed deeply and closed his bag before lifting it, all ready to head out. He could almost hear the new storyline Rukia was plotting to write.

"stop writing them okay. Or at least stop showing them to me… they creep me out. I can't even imagine what you can see in them. Not only would the relationship you describe be forbidden because our differences in status and rank. I am also a male who is not able to create an heir, which I know he is entitled to do. So just get it out of your mind!"

He noticed that her smirk hadn't disappeared even the slightest bit. In fact, it seems to only have grown wider and more evil.

"what?"

"you didn't deny having feelings for him, like is always the case in the fanfics I let you read. You only said you could never be together."

Renji groaned and dropped his bag as they now stood waiting near the senkaimon. But he knew that Rukia was right. He didn't deny having feelings for his taichou, because honestly, he didn't know what or how he felt about his taichou anymore. He'd always known his taichou was an attractive man. Adored by both male and female. And he had always sort of looked up to the man, first in trying to surpass him, later on because of the respect they had for each other and each other's power.

But lately he noticed that his body would start reacting differently when the taichou was near. He'd get trouble breathing, speaking, his stomach would tie in this knot, leaving him with this nervous feeling…

Before his thoughts could go further about what his body would do, he heard that soft, calm voice speak his name and his body did all the things it always did: his stomach fluttered and tied into a knot, his heart beat faster leaving him nervous and his breathing started getting faster. He even found himself breathing manually.

'shit.. one of these days, I'm seriously gonna faint.' He thought to himself as Rukia looked at him knowingly before smirking.

"Have fun Renji. And good luck."

She winked and left as Renji turned around and faced his captain who was now looking at him with this curious gaze.

"you ready Abarai?"

"yes taichou."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Renji was staring at his taichou, today the 12th division had arrived and they were now trying to catch one of the pink arrancars that kept appearing out of the ruins of Las Noches.

But the redhead was distracted. These last days alone with his taichou had held quite a few revelations for him.

First of all, his taichou looked really sexy while undressing, and even better naked, and he looked really beautiful sleeping. Second of all; he couldn't keep his eyes and mind off of his Taichou anymore without his mind wandering to those fanfics from Rukia, which mostly resulted in him getting aroused. And last but not least; he fucking fell in love with his taichou.

He groaned. Like something was ever even going to happen between them. It was hopeless and he should give up now, before it was too late and he was in too deep.

"Abarai-fukutaichou! Kuchiki-taichou! LOOK OUT!"

Renji looked up just in time to see the hollow smiling and firing a bright pink attack at him and his taichou, even though they weren't even standing close to each other.

He closed his eyes and expected pain from the attack, since it was way too late to even try and dodge it. But all he felt was an electric shock going through him, sending him and apparently his taichou on their knees. Then a wave of warmth hit him and he could feel himself losing control of his reiatsu as it reached out. He could feel it starting to connect with his taichou's, creating a beautiful pink color in between them.

He stared at the hollow who was now being surrounded with a look of pure shock on his face.

"What the FUCK did you DO?" he asked, glaring daggers at the arrancar.

"You'll find out soon enough and thank me later." The pink figure said smirking before suddenly disappearing.

Renji gazed at his taichou again and couldn't help but think about how beautiful he looked being surrounded by all that pink.

Suddenly his taichou looked at him with a shocked expression clearly on his face.

"Abarai?"

"yes Taichou?"

"did you just say something?"

He shook his head. "No Taichou, I said nothing… why?"

"hmmm… nothing. It doesn't matter." His taichou was standing up, so Renji followed his example. "But let's head back to seiretei and to the 4th division to get ourselves checked out since we have no idea what this arrancar did to us.

The redhead nodded and told the 12th division to take care of things before walking through the senkaimon with his taichou.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: so… another RenjiX byakuya.. .one of my favourite couples :D  
>this is so gonna be an MPREG… I think.. I'll see :D<p> 


	2. Mindblown

Unohana gazed at the both men in front of her, making Renji shift in his chair uncomfortably. "So…You have come to a conclusion, Or so I was told." The redhead could hear his Taichou ask.

The fourth division captain nodded and stared at them once again. There wasn't so much they found out, but still enough to explain it to the two.

"Somehow this hollow was able to bond you. And I mean bond like you would be if you'd get married. So technically you two are married…."

She looked at their shocked faces and couldn't help but wonder how that could've happened. There's so much more to the bonding than connecting two random souls.

"There's also something else. This bond is unusually strong. I will not be able to break it." _Without causing immense damage to both their bodies, souls and hearts_. She added in her mind, but decided to let that out. She probably more about them than they knew about each other and themselves because all of this, and she would not be the person to tell them.

It was actually Byakuya, and not Renji who was the first to look up, shock clearly written all over his face. "What do you mean; it cannot be broken?"

She shook her head deciding to pretend she knew nothing more. It was no surprise that the noble didn't know of everything that came with the bonding normally done in a marriage, as he was never bound to Hisana that way due to her weakening. And there was also the fact that in most cases, when nobles were to get married, they weren't bound for real. Because a real bond, and definitely a strong one, was formed based on very strong feelings of affection or protectiveness or love for each other. The only problem that came with not really bonding the two involved parties in a marriage, was that it was harder to create a heir.

'_They should find out for themselves the feelings they have.' _ She thought, mentally smiling

XXXXXX

Later that evening Renji dropped himself on his sofa, sighing deeply.  
>He had no idea what the bound meant, or would mean to them, do to them. It all kind of disturbed the hell out of him. What if it would make Byakuya notice his feelings. He'd be rejected, transferred to another squad, or he'd be sliced to pieces by senzonzakura.<p>

'_ARCH! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!' _he grabbed his head and groaned. _' he'll kill me twice because I'm the one who got us in this mess. If I hadn't been so distracted, that hollow never would've had the chance to attack us.'_

Another groan escaped his lips. "what the fuck did I get myself into now… "

He rethought of everything Unohana-taichou had told them after dropping the bomb that they were now technically married. They were now husband and….. husband….. even thought the official ceremony would not be until it was sure that there was no way to break the bond, as requested by the kuchiki clan elders.

'_They probably don't want another peasant in the family.'_

XXXXX

Meanwhile Byakuya was sitting in his garden, watching the koi in their pond. He had this gnawing feeling in his stomach, this knot. He could feel that there was something Unohana-taichou hadn't told them. He saw it in her eyes; there was definitely something more going on about all of this.

For example, there was the incident at Hueco Mundo where he could've sworn he had heard Renji say something about him looking 'sexy as fuck'. But it had sounded like Renji had whispered it in his ear. Which was obviously impossible, seeing as how the fukutaichou had not been standing close to him.

His conclusion about all of this? The hollow had definitely done something fishy, and Unohana knows more of it. The only questions remaining in his mind where. 'what had the hollow done?' and 'what had he to gain by it?'

XXXXXX

Days went by and Renji's brain was blown. The more time he spent at the office, near his taichou, the more he started imagining things, hearing things that could not possibly be true.  
>It made him seriously want to check in at the mental ward for a check up on his mental health for hearing voices. Byakuya's voice to be exact.<p>

Oh great. Now even the Byakuya in his head was snickering at him.

He groaned and dropped his head onto his desk, receiving a glare from his taichou for that.  
>Speaking about his taichou. They still had to talk about what had happened, about the bond they now had.<p>

But he hadn't dared asking his taichou about it. The man had seemed a bit distracted lately. Almost as distracted as Renji would be on one of his normal days.

"Taichou? Uhm…. Are you alright?"

When no response came he sighed softly and wondered if maybe his taichou was mad at him for what had happened. Maybe he now hated the redhead, hated the bond the hollow had 'given' them. Even thought Renji hoped, deep in his heart, that that bond, and the fact that they were technically married by that, even thought not officially, would bring them closer. He'd be happy to be closer to his taichou, even if it were only a little.

He suddenly heard his taichou sigh, making him wonder if he was imagining things again because his taichou NEVER sighed.

"Renji…. You worry too much. I'm not mad at you for what happened, nor for the bond. You are not the cause for what happened to us. That hollow is." 'and so am I'

"Omg… I'm so sorry Taichou… Did I say that out loud?"

His taichou nodded.

"I'm sorry Taichou. Even though you say you're not mad at me for what happened, and that I'm not at fault, but the hollow is. I really am feeling guilty. If I hadn't been so distracted that day, the attack would've never even hit us." 'and you wouldn't be stuck with me like this.' Renji looked down, a look of pure guilt on his face.


	3. thoughts

Suddenly Renji noticed the curious look his taichou was giving him, and it made him feel a little creeped out.

Unbeknown to him his taichou had suddenly noticed something very interesting about their thought when Renji had asked him if he'd said that aloud and he had replied with yes, it hadn't been that way and he knew it. It had sounded exactly the same as in Hueco Mundo, and it had certainly peeked his interest.

Now he only needed to know if his theory about this was right. So he decided to do a little test.

"Abarai , let's just finish our work first and then we'll talk later?"

The redhead nodded and sat down at his desk. That being the moment Byakuya's experiment started. He waited until his fukutaichou was concentrating on his work and then thought about Renji bringing him tea….. nothing happened. So then he tried to think about asking Renji for tea, and once again nothing happened.  
>So now he tried to 'send' his thought to Renji, that he would like some tea.<br>'_Renji, could you please make us some tea? For some reason I find that I'm extremely thirsty?" _

He saw Renji look up, and his heart stopped for a moment. "Sure taichou. I'll be back in a bit."

XXXXXXXX

When Renji came back with the tea, the first thing he noticed was the triumphant look in his taichou's eyes. Whatever he'd been thinking about earlier, had apparently been solved.

"Taichou?"

"Yes Renji. Please come sit here for a second. I think I've figured something out about this bond that's now between us."

The redhead did as he was told and sat down in front of his taichou: He had no idea what his taichou had found out, but he hoped that it did not involve his taichou finding out about his feelings for the man.

"So….. uhm… Taichou? What is it exactly that you discovered?"

A smile now appeared on his taichou's face, a very rare sigh, so rare that Renji was trying to engrave it in his brain so he would never forget the sight of it. To be completely honest; he was rather enjoying the sight. '_goddamnit…. He looks so good when he smiles_.'

"Now Renji…. It appears that the bond allows us to hear some of each other's thoughts, thought it seems to be different what I can hear, and what you can hear. Also… I'd like to thank you for the compliment-

The fukutaichou's face lit up brightly. "uhm…. Ah…. Y-you're welcome… I guess…. But taichou… how did you discover something like that?"

"well… For a start, I never asked you out loud for tea, I tried to send a thought your way, but it seems like not all of them can be controlled. And I don't know how it is with you, but when you send a thought my way, it sounds like you whisper it in my ear…"

Renji would've turned even more red if that were possible at the images that were now flooding his mind. Images of his taichou leaning close and whispering some things in his ear.

He quickly looked at his taichou's face and saw it was still as serious as ever, so he thanked the spirit king that apparently his taichou could not see his thoughts as well as hear them.

He would've been royally screwed over.

"Well… Renji…. If you want you can go now. I bet you want to meet up with some of your friends. I'll be going to the library and the archives to do some research about our bond. So you know where to find me in case of emergency."

"Hai…. Thank you Taichou."

XXXXX

As Renji left, Byakuya finally let the full blown smile he'd been holding back cover his face. Renji had some very interesting images running through his mind. And somehow Byakuya found it that he didn't even dislike them.

He snickered softly. Of course he didn't mind the thoughts. He had them himself almost every night. Every night since after Rukia's near execution. After he'd seen Renji's relaxed, sleeping face. And not the tensed sleeping face he'd have when falling asleep on his desk during work. No. That relaxed face was definitely what made him fall in love with his idiot fukutaichou.

Te captain stretched and stood up. "Better go and do that research now…. I only have about two weeks until the elders will make Renji live in the main house to keep up appearances.

Thank god thought he had been able to convince the counsil that they should not be forced to marry until it was absolutely sure the bound could not be broken, or until maybe they were to wish for it themselves.

So until then they were only officially engaged….. even thought he had not told Renji about this yes… Although…. Thinking about it….. he couldn't wait with that any longer as well, because that public announcement of their engagement was planned for the day Renji would be forced to move in.

XXXXX

Renji dropped onto his bed, completely exhausted. Off all the people to run into on his way home, it just HAD TO BE Matsumoto on her way to a drinking party with Ikkaku, yumichika, shuuhei and Kira.

And now his head hurt like hell.

"Urch…. I really should've stopped after that second bottle… Oh god…. I hope I didn't tell them something embarrassing…. Like my feelings for taichoue, or the bond..…Nobody is supposed to know yet... And they'd definitely won't be able to keep their mouths shut.

He tried to recollect everything he'd said that evening and nothing embarrassing came up making a relieved sigh escape his lips before he fell asleep just like that.

XXXXXX

"-CHOU! ABARAI-FUKUTAICHOU! Get up!"

The redhead shot up as his door slammed open, revealing his taichou with quite the annoyed look on his face.

"I'm so sorry Taichou… I ran into Rangiku last night and couldn'd escape before she was a 100% sure I was completely wasted."

Byakuya hummed. He'd seen Matsumoto drag people along before and he had no problem imagining it happening to Renji. "It's okay Renji." He mentally chuckled as he looked at the redhead's shocked face.

"W-When did you start calling me by my first name? And I saw what you were thinking taichou… and I can guarantee you that it isn't as funny as it looks."

Now it was Byakuya's turn to feel shocked. "I didn't know you could read my thoughts except when I 'send' the to you?"

"yeah…. Uh… well…. I kinda have to focus real hard…."

"Maybe it's connected to your reiatsu reading skills." The captain stated dryly, making Renji pout.

"That was low Taichou…" his pout grew even bigger and he looked up at his tiachou with big puppy eyes. In which it was clearly visible that Renji actually found all of this quite amusing..

But it also showed to Renji that he was probably still drunk for a bit because he would never interact with his taichou like this on any normal, sober day.

Because if he would…. He'd probably give himself away as fast as Rangiku emptied a bottle of Sake."

XXXX

**AN: I'm so sorry it took me this long…. But school is so busy, and now, even when I'm on my springbreak… school will be taking up so much of my time :C  
>I'll try my very best to have the next chapter as soon as possible thought… <strong>

XX


	4. official

AN: wow  
>only four chapters? I thought I had written more already…. But I'm sorry if the relationship is progressing a little too fast…. I' say I'll try to slow it down…. But I'll see ;)<p>

XXXXXXX

Renji gazed at Byakuya. They were sitting in the library, researching books about soul and spirit binding. But Renji's thoughts were nowhere near to the content of the books Byakuya had given him to read.

He was in a dilemma. Byakuya had told him yesterday that the clan expected him to move into the Kuchiki manor in 1 week time and that on that same day there would be an official announcement of their engagement. An engagement he didn't even know about until then. But that was just the way things went in the noble houses.

But now he was feeling like he should tell his taichou about the feelings he was having for him, seeing as how they had already been declared engaged, and the official announcement was already so close.

The redhead sighed deeply. He was seriously sc? No…. he would have to tell him. He was going to be married to him for god's sake. It's not like there was a way avoiding that seeing as how Unohana taichou had already mentioned that the bond was unbreakable and how the books he had already read seemed to confirm that.

Then there was also the fact that Unohana-taichou had told them about how the bondwas getten even stronger. So there was no way of avoiding the marriage. But there was a way of not making it a distant, unloving one. Maybe his taichou would even start liking him after a while…. Maybe he'd fall

His heart fluttered when that thought entered his mind. There was at least a little bit of hope that there would be some love involved when it developed. Which would be necessary, because if he understood correctly; they were going to have to 'seal the marriage' by 'making a child.

He bit his lip. Making a child? Seriously…. Things were going a little too fast for him to comprehend all of it. He hadn't even known that noble males could get or make pregnant, and now he was thrown into the whole process.

But, he decided, he was going to tell his taichou and hope it would turn out the positive way, and not in rejection.

So now he only had to figure out when he was going to tell him.

XXXXXX 

Byakuya had a hard time trying to contain his smile. Today seemed to be one of the days were Renji forgot that it was pretty easy for him to read Renji's mind. He could hear almost everything Renji was thinking when Renji had to try pretty hard to hear Byakuya's thoughts.

And now he found that he was really looking forward to the moment Renji would tell him about his feelings.

He looked back at his book and let his hair hide his face that was now showing a full blown smile.

This book had already told him some very interesting things. Like for example, when the bond strengthens their inner worlds will slowly start to merge until they combine and he would then not only be able to hear Renji's thoughts when they were close, but also when they were worlds apart. The distance would no longer matter, though they would have to really send thoughts to each other for them to hear them then. They would also be able to know when the other was in great distress or pain, show each other memories, look through each other's eyes, etc.

He had never even known that bonds where both people loved each other could be so strong. Spirit bonds were so different from normal bonds. There were so many advantages. He was seriously going to make some changes in his clan when all this settled down.

XXXXX

XXXXX

Renji cursed under his breath. Today he was already moving into the Kuchiki manor and he still hadn't told his taichou about his feeling. It was just that ,every time he had the courage the time wasn't right, and every time the time was right, he didn't have the courage.

He heard a knock on his door an bit his lip when he opened it. Seeing the Kuchiki house staff bowing for him kinda freaked him out, even when it was only 3 of them.

"Abarai-same. Please come with us while the others transfer all of your stuff. We have to prepare you for the engagement announcement this afternoon.

The redhead blushed and nodded, following them outside of his little house towards the enormous Kuchiki manor. "Uhm… Can you please just call me Renji? Or something less formal than Abarai-same…. I find it so creepy when people are so formal with me… I guess I'm just not used to it…."

The oldest one of the three women smiled at him. "very well Renji-san."

XXXXX

About 2 hours later Renji was standing in front of Byakuya and what appeared to be the counsel in a formal white with red kimono. He was completely at a loss of words at how amazing his captain looked, and judging by the approving looks the elders were giving him, he probably wasn't looking too bad himself.

"Now Renji. I know you are nervous about today, but there are some rules and the elders want to speak to you about them while I start receiving the guests.

The fukutaichou nodded and followed Byakuya with his eyes until he was out of sight and then he turned his gaze to the waiting elders.

A stern, but friendly looking man stepped forwards and bowed to him, making him blush.

"Welcome Abarai-sama. My name is Takahiro, head elder of this council and in charge of everything that happens in the main house, including securety."

"uh.. Thank you takahiro-san… but please just call me Renji or something." He smiled as the man nodded.

"Fine then Abarai-san. Now then, about the rules concerning tonight and the period after that until the wedding night. First of all you and Byakuya-sama will be sleeping in separate rooms except for tonight when you both are brought to a prepared room different than your own, and the period after the wedding, where you will move into Byakuya-sama's room. Also concerning tonight and the period after, there is no sexual contact allowed until the wedding night when you will seal the marriage."

He could see Renji turning bright red and smiled softly.

"Tonight is meant for you and Byakuya-sama to get to know each other better, to talk to each other and get used to sleeping together in the same bed. Second of all; you are in no way allowed into Byakuya-sama's room, as he isn't allowed into yours as well. Only at the wedding night will you get to know where his room is. Please do take in account as well that he does not know where your room is, and he isn't allowed to know. This is to make sure there are no nights where you sneak into each other's rooms. If you know what I mean."

Now Renji was sure he was going to die of embarrassment, but he nodded and bowed as well.

"thank you Takahiro-san, and everyone else for the warm welcome. I must admit that I was pretty nervous about meeting all of you."

Takahiro smiled. "We are in no way like the elders from other clans. But I think it is time to finally introduce the others to you so you can go and join the party."

XXXXXX

As the day progressed, and the people started congratulation them more and more, Renji found himself getting extremely nervous as he started thinking about the fact that tonight was probably the best time to tell his captain about his feelings.

'_Renji, calm down. If you want a moment to yourself to relax feel free to walk away from the party for a while.'_

He blinked and gazed at his taichou, who was actually smiling softly at him.

'_Just say: If you would please excuse me for a while, wait for the positive answer and then leave. They wont mind.' _

The redhead smiled and excused himself, walking towards his own room and sitting down on his bed.

He could as well practice what he was going to say to his captain that night.


	5. who?

Renji followed one of the staff members as he brought him to what would be his and Byakuya's room for that night. They lead him into the room and he saw that his captain was already sitting on the bed. The door behind him closed and he could hear them lock it, making him take a deep, nervous breath.

"Relax Renji… That's just a precaution to ensure our safety."

"Taichou…." He bit his lip.

"Call me Byakuya. Please." He could see the smile on his captain's face and noticed how it looked so sincere.

"Byakuya…. Oh god…. That sounds so awkward coming from my mouth…. But… .uhm… there is actually something I really wanted to talk about."

"sure… go ahead."

He closed his eyes and started reciting what he had practiced. "Taichou I know that we are actually getting married because of the bond and the fact that your clan wants to keep up appearances. But…. I don't really want to marry for such a reason."

He took a deep breath, reminding himself to do so, and to talk a little slower.

"I want us to marry because I have actually fallen hopelessly in love with you and I really hope this doesn't freak you out or disgust you and that maybe in time you could learn to like me as well, maybe even love me.. You don't have to if you don't want to but I think I'd kinda really like that…."

He bit his lip once again, holding his breath and not opening his eyes. And when no answer came his mind started going into panic mode.

"Renji…. Calm down… I am not disgusted or freaked out. I've known about your feelings for quite some time already. You tend to forget that I can read your mind and also, I don't need to come to love you seeing as how I already do…. Otherwise this souldbond couldn't even have formed in the first place, seeing as how it needs both people to have strong feelings for each other to form…. The arrancar's attack would've taken no effect If it were not for our mutual feelings.

The captain noticed how Renji still had his eyes closed and walked closer to him, grabbing his chin and kissing him softly.

And finally the words seemed to make sense to Renji because his eyes opened and he was blushing brightly with a relieved look in his eyes.

"uh… tai- Byakuya…. Aren't we like… not allowed to have any sexual contact?"

Byakuya laughed softly. "they only mean sexual intercourse and fondling, kissing is allowed. It used to be forbidden as well but that changed quite some time ago . Now come here and kiss me. I've been waiting for you to tell me about your feelings.

The fukutaichou turned bright red and softly kissed his … lover? Fiancé? He had to surpress a giggle.

'_Actually both terms are correct.' _

Byakuya's voice resounded in his head as the man kissed him a little more passionately and pulled him towards the bed.

"come… let's catch ourselves some sleep."

XXXXX

When Renji opened his eyes the next morning the first thing he saw was Byakuya's sleeping face he had learned to like when they were on that mission in hueco Mundo.

He smiled. "I could definitely get used to this." He thought to himself.

"I would certainly hope so."

Byakuya opened his eyes and smiled. "Even your thoughts are loud." He said, giving Renji a soft kiss. "Good morning."

"morning." He snuggled closer to his taichou.

"ne… taichou?"

"Renji…."

"sorry… Byakuya… Okay that still sounds very weird and awkward… but I was wondering. What do I, like, have to prepare myself for with this marriage? Because in the rukongai people didn't really get married because most of them really didn't have the money to do that."

Byakuya smiled. "There are only a few things actually. Normally we'd be bonded, depending on the kind of our relationship. But seeing as how we already are, that part will most likely be skipped. There's also the vows, the kissing, the party, and the sealing. You'll find the latter rather scary I guess because it lacks spontaneity, but you don't have to be nervous about it. The details will most likely be explained to you when they prepare you before bringing you to my room.

"can't you.. tell me?"

"No.. I'm sorry… I don't know the details seeing as how hisana and I never sealed our marriage because of her weak health and also seeing as how we are both males and that said fact will change a few facts."

"but you know the basics?"

Byakuya actually grinned teasingly at this. "well.. we'll be going to have sex that night"

He smiled as Renji's face actually turned redder than his hair.

"uhmm…. Taichou? About that… Uhm.. well… contrary to what most people believe… I'm actually still quite the virgin."

Now the captain was baffled. "you are?"

"Yes… well… I was one of the lucky ones who didn't end up selling their body. We just stole our food and well…. After that I've never actually found anyone I've wanted to share that with… nobody but you that is."

Byakuya blushed softly. "Then I'll make sure to make it the best night of your life." He said , taking Renji in his arms and softly kissing him.

XXXXMONDAY

Renji dropped himself against a tree in the gardens the next day. He'd completely forgotten about the fact that they were going to have to make a child that night. That they were going to have sex to do that. He wasn't even sure he was ready for that step yet.

He groaned. And who would be the one to carry the child? He'd read all about this. How could he have forgotten? Or how could Byakuya possibly not know?

"Actually… I knew…"

He looked up, seeing Byakuya stand there smiling softly. "I just didn't want to scare you. And about who will carry the child. That's mostly for us to decide. But I was kind of hoping that you could carry our first child?"

"heeeh!" Renji stared at him, eyes wide. "Why me?"

"Well… because I think you'd look really sexy like that." The captain stated bluntly, like it was just some well known fact that the whole world knew. It made Renji blush.

"But so would you…" he mumbled softly, making Byakuya laugh. "Well… we still have time to figure that out so let's not think about that right now okay? Let's just go with the flow."

"you talked to the council?"

"yes. They told me to let them know when we would like to get married. They proposed in two weeks but I asked for a little more time because that's really fast and you still have to get used to me."

"thank you."

Renji softly laughed against Byakuya who was now sitting next to him.

"I really do love you you know." He said shyly, making the older one smile once again. "I love you too."

XXXXTHENEXTWEEKMONDAY

The next time Byakuya came back rom a councilmeeting he had a small surprise for Renji, who was still nervous about the wedding night.

He walked towards the pond where Renji was swimming, taking off his clothes and getting into the water as well before hugging the younger one from behind. He nuzzled his neck and kissed him underneath his ear. "I'm back, and I've got some good news."

The redhead turned around in his captain's embrace. "I'm all in for the good news."

"The date's set. In one month we are going to be lifepartners. But that's not everything. We also have permission to use the room we used for the engagement night every Wednesday, saterday and Monday."

"why?"

"to get you used to being with me, to being touched by me so you won't freak out on our wedding night. We have allowance to do everything except going all the way…. You remember that embarrassing check-up they made us go through after the engagement night?"

"the reiatsu body check…" the redhead blushed brightly. "yeah I remember… They really did check EVERYTHING."

"Yeah… well… that was the condition for being able to bend the rules a bit. Every time we go into that room they'll do the check-up afterwards."

Renji groaned, but nodded, hugging byakuya tightly. "Thank you for bending the rules for me. I know how much you normally like to stick to them."

"no problem. I did it because I love you."

XXXWEDNESDAYEVENING

Renji stared at the door of the shared room. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Of course he knew that it was not like they HAD to do anything.

"Renji. You can come in you know." He heard Byakuya say softly so he slowly opened the door, startling when a servant closed and locked it behind him.

"Renji…. " Byakuya smiled at him. "We don't have to you know? Come here… let's just stay close to each other and just kiss for a while."

He patted the empty place next to him where Renji awkwardly sat down a few seconds later.

"I'm sorry… I'm just so nervous about all of this. In 4 weeks we are getting married and that night we have to do it, and one of us is going to end up pregnant."

Byakuya tightly hugged him. "If you're too nervous I'll gladly be the one to carry our first child. But that's actually kind of what I wanted to talk about this first night. Because all of our other nights will mostl likely go differently according to what we decide about that."

"I know…. But how are we going to decide such a big thing? It's not like we can pull straws or anything."

The captain sighed. "I have no idea. Mostly it is decided purely based on logic and status. But that is mostly when there is no love involved."

"would they appreciate me more If I'd be the one to carry our first child?"

"they?"

"the elders and your staff?"

"Renji.. They already appreciate you…"

"But that's the point… They don't. I hear them talk about me. They think I'm an animal, a barbarian, that we don't fit together… That I don't fit with you. They think I won't be able to live the noble life, to raise our children well. They even think that I won't be able to carry the child full term because I'm too wild and would most likely miscarry because of who I am…."

"Renji…" he pulled the redhead even closer. "You know that's ridiculous. You'll be perfect at all of it. But O'm not going to stop you if you want to proof them that. Rub it in their faces when you carry, bear and raise our child. It's up to you who carries first because I don't mind either way. Okay? But think it over. Don't do it solely because you want to prove yourself to them. They're not worth that kind of honor if they speak about you like that."

The redhead smiled and leaned against his lover… fiancé, enjoying the feel of the other's heartbeat.

"I want you to do this because you want it for yourself. And don't forget that I can listen to your thoughts. Even thought I promised you to keep that down, I already notice elements of your inner world appearing into mine. Our inner worlds are coming together because our bond strengthens. Because our relationship strengthens."

He hugged Renji even tighter now. It's almost a miracle the redhead can still breath with him hugging him like that. "I love you and whatever you decide, I'm with you in the decision. As long as you do it for the right reasons. Now.. let's go to sleep."

He whispered the last part softly in Renji's ear.

XXXX

When Renji dreamed that night, he dreamed that he was the one pregnant, holding his tummy and actually showing it off. People were congratulating him. He was actually so enormously proud that HE was the one carrying Byakuya's first child… THEIR first child.

And when he woke up he was still holding his stomach, feeling slightly confused. He turned around and looked at Byakuya's face.

He'd always had this thing that when he was doubting over something, a decision to make, he'd have a dream about it. About which option he like more… or less.

Like for example there was that time in Inuzuru where he'd doubted if maybe he should start selling his body so he could feed the mouths of the younger children on the streets. But he'd had nightmares for days. First about how he'd be raped, kidnapped, sold as a slave or murdered, then about what would happen to Rukia and the others if he were to suddenly disappear like that.

His dreams had decided for him back then, and it seemed like now, they were helping him decide as well. And he listened… Because hey… Dreams are your sub consciousness telling you about what you want.

He snuggled closer to his lover, because during their sleeping hours they'd drifted a bit apart in the bed, and fell asleep again with a smile on his face.


	6. I am sure

XXXX SATURDAY

"Are you sure?"

"Yes….. I think I am…"

"But I need you to be absolutely sure." Byakuya pushed Renji with his back against the bed.

"I am."

The redhead lookup up at his lover before kissing him and pulling him down on top of him. "I'd be proud to be the one who carries our first child. To be the one who gives them life."

He saw the look on Byakuya's face and knew that he was reading his thoughts in search for any sign of uncertainty.

'_I'm really REALLY sure Byakuya.' _He thought as hard as he could, trying to send that thought to Byakuya while deeply kissing him. He still wasn't as skilled in reading the other's thoughts so he had no idea what his older lover was thinking right now.

The captain laughed softly. "Okay… busted…" he mumbled softly, "and I believe you. It's just I really like hearing your thoughts. They're as chaotic and funny as you are."

"I'm not chaotic….."

Byakuya stared at him with this soft smirking playing on his lips.

"Yeah… okay… maybe I am…. A little."

They smiled against each other's lips. "you should read my thoughts a little more as well…. I'm not that good at expressing them."

"You are with me?"

"Yes. But that's when we are alone. I wish thought that you would also know what's going on in my mind when there are other people present. I want you to know what I'm thinking when I can't show it."

Once again they smiled against each other's lips until Renji spoke again. "can we talk about this another time? I don't really feel like talking right now… I kind of like… uhhh." He blushed brightly.

"you had some other stuff in mind?"

The redhead turned even redder and nodded before mumbling something amongst the lines of 'you really like reading my mind do you?'

Byakuya did not grin, or laugh at this, he just smiled softly and kissed him deeply once again, leaning on top of him as close as humanly possible.

Renji's response was immediate. He groaned lowly and opened his mouth when Byakuya licked his lips.

"How far are you willing to go tonight?" The captain asked silently when they ended the kiss in need of air.

"I don't know.."

"then tell me when to stop? Okay?"

A nod. "It's a deal." He said grinning widely and he pulled Byakuya's lips against his own once again. He was actually so turned on right now. Turned on by only a kiss. Dear god he was such a virgin.

"Hmm.. Please touch me more." He whimpered boldly when Byakuya once again kissed him. So Byakuya started kissing him in his neck sucking at the pulse point right below his ear before blowing onto the newly wetted spot.

"Oh… OH! That feels good." The younger one moaned softly, making Byakuya grin widely.

The captain started to lift Renji's shirt before pulling it off and kissing his way down to Renji's chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and started sucking on it, pinching the other one equally hard, making Renji moan once again.

But when he went down even further, passing and licking into his belly button and kissing Renji's member through his pants, the younger one froze.

"not ready?" The ravenhaired asked worriedly.

"No.. it's alright… I just didn't expect that…."

"Renji. I already told you that I'm not going to push you…. If you don't want it yet just say so. We still have a lot of time." He crawled back up and kissed him on the lips again.

"come here… Let's fall asleep."

"But… But you're hard…. I can feel you against my…" he bit his lip before adding "And I am hard as well." While blushing brightly.

A soft smile appeared on Byakuya's face. "Well… Your body may be ready. But your mind maybe isn't?"

"but it is!" he blushed even more. "I am."

Daringly he put his hand against Byakuya's hard on, touching him through the fabric of his loose pants. A soft moan escaped the older one's lips so he pushed a little harder and moved his hand.

"please keep touching me." Renji begged softly. "I really only froze because it was a little unexpected."

"you sure."

"dear God YES. Now Please, PLEASE touch me?"

Byakuya laughed softly and redid his previous movements. And this time Renji didn't freeze when Byakuya kissed his member through his pants.

This time he moaned, so Byakuya now softly sucked at it, still through the fabric of his pants, while opening them.

"Can I take them off?"

"yes… Oh yes… I definitely don't mind."

So Byakuya softly pulled them off, still leaving the redhead's underwear on. He stared softly at the outlines of the younger's hard-on and smiled before once again kissing him, now through the black boxershorts. He smiled up at Renji through his eyelashes and then put his mouth over the bulge and sucked harshly."

"Ah! Byakuya! Th-That kinda feels really good."

The captain smiled and hummed, making renji moan again. He could already feel precum leaking through his lover's underwear, and his own as well. The noises Renji was making were such a turn on to him.

"B-Bya! I'm close!"

"then come." He mumbled smiling before once again sucking harshly, pushing his tongue against the tip as well.

And Renji came . Came as hard as he had never before in his life, moaning Byakuya's name loudly, in his pants.

When he came down from his height he suddenly felt very sticky and blushed.

Byakuya smiled up at him once again before crawling up and kissing him.

"How are you feeling?"

"wonderful… just… wow…. I don't think I've ever come this hard in my LIFE." He said barking out a short laugh which made Byakuya grin.

"I'll be right back." The older man said before disappearing into the bathroom and coming out a minute later in only his underwear with a washcloth and a towel. He cleaned Renji quickly, threw the stuff, together with Renji's underwear, next to the bed and crawled next to Renji, kissing him.

"How about you?"

"I already came."

"what? When?"

Now Byakuya blushed softly. "Right after you. You make the most sexy face and noises when you come."

Renji blushed a bright red at the remark and quickly hid underneath the covers, soon followed by Byakuya who hugged him tightly."

"now.. let's go to sleep.. I love you."

"luvyoutoo." A still embarrassed Renji mumbled making Byakuya grin and hug him even tighter before the two of them fell asleep. The last thing on Byakuya's mind the fact that he sure did smile a lot when he was with Renji. He almost felt like a complete different person.


	7. Inner worlds

Renji opened his eyes when he heard a knock on the door. Groaning he stood up and opened it a little bit. Apparently the staff had already unlocked it.

"Yes?" he asked tiredly, squinting at the light.

"Abarai-san. Please wake up Byakuya-sama as well." Kai, Byakuya's personal housekeeper whispered softly with a bright blush on his face. "We have a breach in security and we need your help."

Renji nodded and turned around to wake up his lover but seeing that he was already wide awake, and grinning.

"We'll be there in a minute." Byakuya said smiling and Renji closed the door, wondering why Byakuya was grinning, and why the kid had blushed.

And then it suddenly hit him. He was still naked.

Once again he groaned and quickly put on some clean underwear before also putting on the only thing he could wear right now, the thin nigh yukata.

Byakuya followed his example and then they both went outside, immediately being met by the head of security who handed them their zanpakutô.

"Momentarily we have cornered the arrancar at the east side of the house. We have no idea how he was able to come inside and no idea why he is here because he's not attacking anyone. Oh…. And it's pink."

"pink?"

"yes… bright, baby pink."

Renji and Byakuya stared at each other. One of the new arrancar race. What was it doing here of all places."

They raced to the east side of the house and surrounded the arrancar, who was grinning at them, as well.

And then suddenly it spoke.

"Well…. Se who we have here. Happy with my little gift?" He asked, his grin widening even more.

Renji and Byakuya stared at each other and then they suddenly seemed to remember that this was the hollow that had 'attacked' them during their trip to hueco Mundo.

"Ah.. you finally seem to recognize me… Took you long enough. Well … let me tell you something. Normally I'd have to kill you while you are both too distracted with each other. That's the strategy you see? But you two are way too interesting together to do so, so I decided to give you both a little gift. You can thank me later."

The arrancar lifted his arm and pointed it towards them before shooting the same pink ray at them he had in Hueco Mundo.

And just like then it engulfed them in a warm, tingling feeling, mixing their reiatsu's together.

Renji and Byakuya stared at each other and then at the arrancar who was still grinning at them.

"Sleep well… I put the bond on maximum level. A level not even known to shinigami." He said, disappearing right before the two of them collapsed.

XXXX

When Renji opened his eyes he found himself inside his inner world. Red stone and sand everywhere with a bright sun shining above his head. He blinked and stood up, turning around quickly when he suddenly felt a breeze and something sweep against his cheek. There were no breezes in his inner world. Never.

A gasp fell from his lips when he saw what appeared to be a forrest with sakura blossoms. Half way in the sky it suddenly became a night sky filled with stars and a beautiful full moon. He could also hear water flowing somewhere very near to him, and that's when he saw the small river flowing from the forest through his own desert.

"Must be what Byakuya mentioned. The fusing of our inner worlds."

And that's when another thought occurred to him. If he was here, in their inner world, because of what the pink arrancar had done, then so was Byakuya… probably.

He started walking towards the forest, following the river and hoping that that would be where he'd find his lover.

"Byakuya!"

He heard a groan coming from his right and immediately turned that way. A few seconds later he found said lover who had had only now awoken.

"you alright?" he asked softly, kneeling down next to him.

"yeah… where are we…" the captain asked, looking around and then recognizing his own inner world with some red stones near the river.

"we're in my inner world?"

"yeah… well.. kind of. Our inner world actually. Right outside these woods is my red desert."

"they have already fused completely? That wasn't supposed to happen for another few weeks."

"yeah… well I think they already are because of what that arrancar did."

"right… he did mention something about a maximum level, unknown to shinigami."

"so the bond is complete?"

"yes. Apparently so…. But I wonder what comes with that maximum level that we don't know about."

The redhead pulled up his shoulders. "dunno… don't really care. We'll just have to wait and see I guess… It's not like we can change anything about it." He said smiling while now sitting down next to his lover. "I wonder why we're in our inner worlds thought." He mumbled silently. "and also if Zabimaru and Senbonsakura ar here as well."

"yeah.. we are." He could somebody say suddenly before 3 forms emerged from the deeper within the woods.

"what the hell happened?" the baboon asked. "The merging suddenly speeded up."

"that arrancar gave us a little 'gift' He raised our bond to the maximum level."

The zanpakutô looked at each other like they actually had any idea what that meant.

"what?"

"well… Do you know what that means? Maximum level? That is not just like the bond you had before you know."

Now Byakuya was the one who answered the baboon. "We know a few things. Our inner worlds merge. Hearing thoughts and communicating through them becomes easier. We can also hear and read them when further apart and we can sense when the other is in great distress."

"And you'll be able to use each other's zanpakutôs. Renji will be able to use me and you will be able to use zabimaru. Thought you have to hold the sword for that. That is only possible in the maximum level and it requires practice. You two now practically became two parts of the same soul, two sides of a coin. When one of you dies, so will the other. But that also means that when the one is in great danger, near to death, the other will have the same complications. So if the second one gets treated, the first one will heal as well…." Senbonsakura explained. But his face showed that there was a little more about that maximum level that he wasn't telling them.

And that's when the baboon smirked and started talking. "of course other things will happen as well. But we're not going to spoil all the fun. You'll find out soon enough." He teased.


	8. Tattoos

**AN:: I'm so sorry this story is taking me so long. But I was kind of really stuck on it. So Now I've been deciding some things that are going to happen and I can resume this story thought it's probably still going to go real slow. Sorry bout that. **

**xxxxx**

Renji stared at his lover, a wide grin playing on his lips as he took in the other man's body, now covered in tattoos similar to his own.

"Are these really necessary?" the noble asked to no-one in particular. He didn't really know what to think of his new look. But the baboon nodded at him with a smirk, telling them that he either looked really bad with them, or just plain weird.

"Comes with me." He said, Renji now grinning equally as wide. "But don't worry. They'll disappear as long as you're not handling me since I still am Renji's sword, and not yours. And they don't look half as bad as you think they do, right Renji? Now try to hit that tree over there?" He added the last part before Renji could even answer, but this time he actually came much closer to actually hitting his target than he had the last 3 hours.

Who knew that handling Zabimaru would be this hard.

He looked over to his left where Senbonzakura was now approaching the redhead fukutaichou.

"Your turn." The samurai stated, giving his sword form to the younger man. He hadn't trusted giving the redhead said sword form before giving the man some kido training. He wouldn't want an kido explosion to interrupt the flow of his petals, sending them in the wrong direction during a fight. "Normally you'd have to master me before I'd allow you to handle me. But since you are now Byakuya's other soul part and you are at least a LITTLE better at kido than before, I'll skip that part."

"Thanks… I appreciate that." The redhead said, grinning as he listened to the zanpakuto's orders about how to handle her. He actually felt quite strange holding such an elegant sword in his hands.

*You're not the only one feeling weird.' Renji thought to him, 'I'm not used to handling such a wild. Rough sword as yours.'

Renji grimaced at the double meaning flashing through his mind and almost cut through zabimaru instead of the tree he was supposed to cut down.

His own zanpakuto now yelling at him as well as his lover he decided to call it a day. They'd been going at it for hours with little to no improvement. And with a promise to practice kido a little more and to practice handling senbonzakura at least daily they finally left their inner world.

XXXX

When they woke up they thankfully found themselves in one of the white, boring rooms of the fourth division.

"Ah. Finally awake I see. How are the two of you feeling?" The soft and motherly voice of Unohana-taichou sounded from where the door was.

They both turned their gazes towards her before answering that they felt fine, Perfectly fine even, both on the exact same moment much to her amusement.

"So. Care to tell me what happened? Your House-staff was frantic and beside itself with worry about it and they refused to really give me some information.

They shrugged. "The pink arrancar entered the Kuchiki-mansion and somehow maximized our bond to a level we shinigami have never even heard of. We collapsed and somehow ended up in -our now combined- inner worlds where we had to train in handling each other's zanpakuto." Byakuya told her in his usual stoic and calm voice. To which Renji decided to add that they would really be needing more training for that because they absolutely sucked at it right now.

"You can fight with each other's zanpakuto's?" She asked, voice dripping with wonder.

"Well… not yet." Byakuya was the one to once again answer the question. "Since we are now basically two parts of the same soul, thought still different parts."

"That I HAVe to see!" they suddenly heard a voice call out from the door. Rukia walked in carrying the biggest smile they had ever seen on her face, making Renji groan loudly. "Yeah, I bet'ya do. But ya're going to have ta wait for us to MASTER them before we can show it ta ya. Because right naw, we really suck at it." He stated bluntly, falling back in his own accent when he was with her.

Byakuya had to try his very best to keep in an embarrassed groan and barely managed to do so. 'Renji!' he shot a glare at the redhead, making him cringe in response.

'sorry 'bout that. It's just that there are so little things you're bad at. You're great at like EVERYTHING so I kinda couldn't stop myself.'

This made the sixth division captain smile softly. 'you'd be surprised at the things I'm not good at Renji. Showing how I feel about something being one of the biggest things.'

Unohana smiled at them, obviously knowing that they were talking to each other through their minds by the look on their faces. Seeing them interact like that was actually really interesting to watch.

"Well. The both of you are free to go home. Just please do sent in a report of what happened in great detail."

They both nodded at this and sat up before walking out of the room just in time to hear Unohana's voice telling them to 'stay away from Mayuri as much as they could as well.'

The bastard would probably want to experiment on them because of the newly discovered level of bonding. With a shiver they walked home, trying to banish any thought of the freaky scientist.

"you know? I actually kind of like Senbonzakura. She doesn't say that much. But well… I thought she'd be cold and evil. Just thank god she isn't!"

The captain smiled at his lieutenant. "yeah well, your zanpakuto is taking his sweet time chatting away in my head right now about how I treated you unfairly in the beginning and how the both of you felt about that. You do know I'm sorry about that do you?"

"oh god. Yes I know." The redhead blushed and mentally started screaming at the baboon that he had to 'shut the fuck up!' Byakuya laughed softly at this, not even looking around to see if there was anybody else to notice this. With a smile still lingering on his lips he reminded Renji that he could very well hear what he was thinking, or in this case; yelling at the baboon, escecially when he was loud.

The redhead blushed even brighter and hid his face exclaiming that everybody was out to get him and that it was just not fair. Thought he immediately shut up when Senbonzakura started sending him images from when his lover was still young and wild, so very much like himself.

He had heard stories of that before, of course, but to actually see it? Wow. He really had to hold back a barking laugh at the scowl his taichou was now wearing. The exact same scowl he'd just seen on the younger version of his lover.

"Y'know Byakuya? I think that maybe, somewhere under that stoic appearance of yours, that wild boy is still alive and begging to see the light of day once again."

He expected Byakuya to blush again at this, but much to his surprise the man was now smirking at him. He actually had a full blown smirk playing on his lips!

"Well. You'll get to know the boy beneath the skin soon enough Renji." He teased the younger redheaded man who was now staring at him with enormously wide eyes. Oh. He could read between the lines pretty well and he didn't know if he should like, or be nervous about what the ravenhaired captain was suggesting.

They arrived at the Kuchiki Estate about 6 minutes later, Byakuya still with that fullblown smirk playing on his lips and Renji with a blush that equaled his hair in color.

"How about we go back into our mindscapes and train a little more?" the redhead asked as they dropped onto the outdoor sofa standing in the garden-patio. They should've been completely exhausted after such a day, but Renji was still full of energy.

"You just want to see me covered in tattoos." The nobleman huffed, smile once again playing on his lips. He sure was doing that a lot around Renji; smiling.

"Yeah well. You look absolutely great with them. Sexy even."

XXXXX


	9. time flies

Renji dropped himself on his bed. He was so exhausted. But that was no real surprise since it'd been quite long ago that he had to learn how to master a sword. And senbonzakura wasn't quite one of the easiest to master either. But he was thankful that at least this time he had a little help from the original master.

He chuckled when he remembered said man during their training. The tattoo's covering his body looked real great on him and dear god; he was so sexy when he cursed.

Which he'd done quite a lot since Zabimaru especially liked to press his buttons.

A happy sigh escaped his lips as he turned on his side. Oh how he liked to watch Byakuya train with Zabimaru. It was like heaven on earth for him. Another happy sigh left his lips as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming about making love with his lover when the man was covered in tattoos. Oh how he'd like to do that.

XXXX

Weeks passed and before Renji could fully comprehend it, his big day had arrived. His wedding day. The day he would marry to Byakuya was already here. Finally.

He looked into the mirror, seeing Byakuya on the other side of the room; being dressed in his formal kimono as well. To say that the man looked sexy would be a massive understatement. And to say that he was enormously nervous about today would be as well.

When the head elder deemed them ready he told them to follow him outside for the ceremony to start. And so it did.

Everybody was there. Even the soutaichou; much to their surprise. Well, mostly Renji's. He couldn't even really believe that the head captain deemed this important enough to show up himself instead of sending his regards by paper.

A soft sigh escaped his lips and before he knew it the ceremony itself was already over and they were being pulled aside to discuss what would happen next.

"Have you decided who is going to carry the heir?" the head elder asked with a soft reassuring smile. They both nodded gently. "I will." Renji mumbled shyly after a few seconds of silence.

"Wonderful. Now Please start saying your goodbyes to the guests so we can prepare you for tonight. It is getting late."

They once again nodded and walked away, telling the guests goodnight as well as telling them they'll speak soon.

XXXX

Renji was lying on a table in the middle of the council room, Byakuya laying down next to him to comfort him while they were pushing a bundle of dense reiatsu inside of his stomach. The reiatsu chamber which was still unactivated right now, making it smaller, thus easier to place inside of him. But that didn't make it any less painful. It felt worse than having Senbonzakura cut you up or than having a sword the size of Ichigo's pushed through your chest.

He harshly bit his lip and squeezed Byakuya's hand as they pushed the last part inside of him, giving him a few minutes to rest before walking them to Byakuya's room and activating the chamber with a soft pulse of reiatsu.

Immediately Renji's body started tinteling and heating up, making him whimper and cling to his lover. "Bya-ku-ya."

The clanhead pulled his lover closer as he whimpered once again. They had told him briefly what was going to happen to his lover, but this all seemed to be a little more extreme.

"Shhh. Renji. You'll be alright. I'll help you." God felt awkward trying to comfort his lover. He wasn't used to really showing his emotions like that yet.

He softly connected their lips, pulling Renji towards the bed. And suddenly he felt thankful for having been able to 'prepare' Renji for this. They'd had enough time to do everything except for 'it'.

And they were going to take that step now. He gently pushed the redhead with his back on the bed, opening and removing their yukata's before kissing the younger one's neck.

He softly started sucking there, placing a hickey before moving lower. He took his time when he took a bud into his mouth, gently biting it while he pinched the other.

Soft moans escaped Renji's lips when the clanhead started preparing him. Fingers slowly entering him one by one. While a warm wet mouth covered his pulsing member. And after a few minutes he couldn't take it any longer. So he started begging for his lover to 'fuck him already!'

Byakuya obliged, and in one swift thrust he pushed inside to the hilt. He gave Renji some time to adjust but as the man started moving he could no longer hold himself back and started thrusting. First at a slow pace, but steadily going faster and harder.

"Byakuya." Renji was moaning out in pure pleasure. Oh God. This felt so good, so wonderful. Why did he wait with this again?

Another moan escaped his lips as he felt himself approaching the edge. He barely had the time to warn Byakuya before he came all over their chests, muscles contracting around Byakuya's member as he pulled the other man over the edge as well.

Byakuya collapsed onto his husband, panting while softly kissing his lips.

"Byakuya. I need more of you. I want more." Came out of Renji's mouth, softly and almost sounding like a whimper.

The ravenhairednoble's eyes widened as he stared at the younger man. They were still connected. It hadn't even been five minutes since they both came and Renji was already ready for more?

"Please Byakuya. Please."

He smiled softly at that. "alright alright. Just give me a minute." He chuckled softly as he noticed that Renji was already getting hard again. And after a few minutes of just lying there on top of his lover, panting harshly, he finally felt himself harden again.

With an experimental thrust he moved back deeper inside his lover. The redhead moaned and started moving his hips again, grabbing Byakuya's butt and pulling him even deeper inside.

But it wasn't deep enough. He wanted his lover even deeper inside of him. So he turned them around, making it so that he was on top of the other.

Within a few seconds he was already moving harshly, making sure that Byakuya was jabbing his prostate with every single thrust. Loud moans escaped his lips and he found himself once again nearing the edge.

But he didn't want to come yet so he just stopped moving, making Byakuya groan because the man was close as well. He left his lover hanging on the edge as well.

"Renji."

"I know. I know. I just want it to last longer. It feels so good." he smirked down at his husband before he starting moving once again.

And this time he didn't stop moving as he neared the edge. Instead he increased his pace, stilling when white spurts of semen left his member, coating both their chests.

Byakuya followed him soon after, grabbing Renji's hips and pulling him down so he was completely inside, member pushing as far in the prostate as possible before shooting his load into his redheaded lover.

Renji moaned as he felt Byakuya's semen shoot against his slightly oversensitive prostate. And if he hadn't just come a few seconds before, he would've now from all the overstimulation.

After a few seconds he collapsed on top of Byakuya. A sudden surge of pain went through him and he grabbed his stomach. He could feel the reiatsu chamber sucking in Byakuya's semen, filling with reiatsu and genetical material. He could hear Byakuya groan as well. The noble was still inside of Renji and he as well could feel the chamber pulling reiatsu inside. Because what was in his semen wasn't enough it pulled more out of Byakuya himself.

And then it suddenly stopped. It had gathered enough reiatsu and DNA to now close itself down.

Renji smiled and pulled himself off his husband before laying down next to him, panting as the pain finally ebbed away.

"you alright?" came the silent voice of Byakuya

"I am now." The other whispered back, hugging his ravenhaired lover. "I love you."

"I love you too." Byakuya mumbled smiling at the lieutenant, voice already sounding sleepy. "I love you too."


	10. The noble life

When Renji woke up the next morning a wide smile appeared on his lips at the thought that he now no longer would be known as Abarai Renji but as Kuchiki Renji. He could barely keep in the soft chuckle that threatened to escape his lips and possibly wake his husband at how weird that sounded. It was obviously going to take some getting used to.

He sat up slowly, suddenly feeling a burning pain in his lower back and further down below. Memories of last night started flooding his mind, making him blush as bright as the tangled mess he called his hair.

"You alright?" came a silent whisper from next to him in the bed. "Does it hurt?"

"No. no. I'm fine." The redhead mumbled, still blushing brightly making the noble nod and hug him tightly while kissing him gently.

"Then lay back down. Today is one of those rare days where they'll let us sleep in."

This made Renji's eyes widen comically. "Are those days really that rare?" he whimpered highly. He liked to sleep in goddamnit!

Byakuya chuckled at the high pitched sound. "I'm sure they'll let you sleep in more than they'll let me. Seeing as how you are probably pregnant.

The lieutenant smiled and laid back down in the other's arms. "Why can't they let you sleep in as well?"

"I fear that I'll be quite busy." The noble mumbled into the other's hair which was actually tickling his nose. "I won't only have to attend to my captain's duties and the clanhead's duties. But I'll have your duties to take care of as well once the pregnancy is comfirmed."

"My duties? But I can do those myself can't I? I mean. At least the paperwork? And supervising the training sessions? I don't really have to actively participate in those."

Byakuya smiled at that. Renji willing to do his own paperwork, now there was a big change in personality.

"I know you can. But with shinigami male pregnancies only lasting about 20 weeks instead of the 40 women go through our bodies get exhausted easier. Men aren't made to get pregnant, we noble houses only have this technique to ensure heirs. But because men aren't made for pregnancy our bodies can't handle it longer than 20 weeks, thus making the child grow faster and exhausting you to great levels."

"How do you know all this?"

"I was told all of this last night."

"Well.. Can't I at least try to do my own duties as much as possible? I'll tell you when I can no longer handle it. And it isn't like it could possibly hide what I'd be thinking from you."

"sure. Now sleep. We are both very tired after last night's activities." A smirk touched Byakuya's soft pink lips, making a new blush appeared on Renji's cheeks as he closed his eyes again and fell asleep soon after, being followed by his ravenhaired noble after said man had gazed at his sleeping face for a few minutes.

XXXX

But even with those extra hours of sleep he got in the next few days, it still wasn't enough. He was dead tired by the time he went to bed each night because,not only was he still helping along at the division, but he also had to go with Byakuya and the council to the other noble houses to greet and thank them for their presence ant presents, as well as going to the gotei 13 offices.

And –on top of that- he couldn't seem to be finding any free time or rest even when he was at home with all the servants always asking him if he needed anything. He just couldn't find any of the alone time he so desperately craved.

A deep sigh escaped his pouting lips as another servant walked up to him.

"Renji-sama. Byakuya-sama and the council head elder are asking to meet you at the clan-healer."

The redhead smirked tiredly at that. "Just Renji will be fine, please." He grumbled softly. The 'sama'-title made him uncomfortable. "And uhm. Would you please show me where I need to go? I have absolutely no idea where the clan-healer is."

The servant nodded and turned around without another word, walking into the direction of a smaller separate building.

"Here we are Renji-san." Well. At least it changed from –sama to –san.

The redhead sighed and nodded saying a quick 'thank you' before making his way inside only to see that Byakuya and the head elder already present and waiting for him.

"Sorry I'm late." He mumbled shyly. The one thing that made him even more uncomfortable than the 'sama'-title was the council and it's members. And he wasn't even sure why the head-elder was here to begin with.

Byakuya smiled softy at his lover. So typically Renji to be late. It kind of amused him to know that Renji wasn't planning to change who he was.

"It's fine Renji. I'm taking it you already know our head-elder Kuchiki Yuu?"

Renji nodded and then greeted the man in the way he was quickly thought to do so. With a soft bow.

"Yuu-sama." He said softly. He was so not used to speaking this way and it was probably going to take him ages to get used to it.

"Now. I'm pretty sure that you are wondering why we are here? Thought I think that if you think for a minute you'll know as well."

Renji stared at his lover. He had actually absolutely no idea why they were here, and judging by the smirk on Byakuya's lips the man knew that he had no clue.

"Well. Since today it has been a week ago that we had our wedding night, we are there to check if the reiatsu chamber sealed itself correctly."

"…So basically we'll know if I'm really pregnant?" He asked after a moment of thought with a big smile playing on his lips, making Byakuya nod his head.

"Cool. Can't wait!"

"Then please do come inside instead of standing there." Came a sudden voice from behind the redhead, scaring the living daylight out of him and making him turn around quickly only to face a petite woman with long black hair tied into a dot standing in the doorway.

The redhead's face turned bright red again, something he'd been doing quite a lot lately and it annoyed him that he was so easily flustered. This wasn't like himself. He waited until the clan-healer went inside before following her inside together with his husband, the head-elder waiting outside.

"Please lay down onto the examination table Renji-san."

Thank god, somebody else who didn't call him 'sama'.

He did as he was told and laid down, doing his best not to fall asleep as soon as he laid down because he was so tired right now and his body was begging for him to close his eyes and just sleep.

"Now Byakuya-sama. You are going to have to do this because if the chamber hasn't completely closed yet it could pull in my reiatsu and mix it with yours already in it."

The noble looked at her and nodded, waiting for her to start her instructions so he could do as she stated.

First he had to lay his hands on Renji's abdomen. He could feel the man shiver softly under his gentle touch, making him smile softly as he remembered the fact that they had the day off tomorrow to get some rest after all the greetings.

He listened to the clan-healer again as she started explaining what he had to do step by step. He was going to have to be really gently and careful with this or he could shatter the chamber if it hasn't been closed already.

So he softly –and carefully- pushed his reiatsu inside his lover and wrapped it around the chamber. Then he waited for a few seconds before he started searching the chamber for little leaks or spots where his reiatsu was being pulled inside or other things that could indicate that the chamber hadn't closed yet.

Thankfully there were none so he could pull back his reiatsu soon enough.

"and?"

"I didn't feel anything like you described. Everything seems to be perfectly fine."

"Well. That's wonderful news." She said with a smile, gazing at Renji to tell him that he was indeed pregnant, but finding the man already asleep. It made her chuckle lightheartedly as she turned back to the clanleader.

"Congratulations Byakuya-sama." She said to the noble, seeing that even the stoic man couldn't hide the smile that he was trying to keep hidden away.

"Well. I think you should probably carry your obviously tired husband to bed and take the night off while you're at it. I'll tell Yuu-chan the results and you can tell Renji-san. He'll want to know when he wakes up."

Byakuya flinched at the nickname she gave to the head-elder. Thank god that the young man was outside and did not hear his older sister calling him that.

He gazed at her and knew that she could easily see that he wanted to protest about taking the night off. So she softly glared at him, telling him it was a 'doctor's avice', knowing damn well that he would not ignore that.

With a soft sigh the clanleader turned around after picking up his husband. Renji may be larger and more muscular than him but one shouldn't underestimate the noble's strength. The new clan-healer surely knew how to get things done from him, knowing that he would never ignore her orders, even those ridiculous as the one she had given him right now.

XXXX

He smiled when he lowered the pregnant man onto the bed only to have him clutch the front of his shihakusho.

A soft groaning sound escaped Renji's lips when he felt Byakuya kiss his forehead. He cracked open an eye and gazed at his lover, no change that; his husband.

"Don't leave?" he whispered tiredly, still half asleep. "It's been since our wedding night since we came to the bed at the same time." 'And I miss you.' He added the last part in his thoughts, knowing damn well that Byakuya could hear the words.

"I wasn't planning on leaving." The noble stated with a soft kiss to the redhead's lips. "We've got tonight of as well and I'm planning to take advantage of that."


	11. Rumors

**AN: Okay, So I apologize. I don't know if I already mentioned this but I got some very good proof that Senbonzakura is indeed male (bath scene in one of the shinigami illustration books :D) So yeah, I'll refer to him as male now, but I'm too lazy to go back to that chapter specially for that one chance. I'll change it when this story is done because that's when I get someone to beta it  
>XXXXXXX<strong>

Renji's eyes blinked open as he felt warm arms wrap around his swollen waist. Weeks had gone by since he'd gotten the news from his lover that he was indeed pregnant, 9 weeks to be exact, and today was a day when Byakuya would be in the mansion. He'd have to do work here, but at least he was home today. At least he was close by.

Things seemed to have gotten quite different between the two lovers in those few weeks time. The biggest difference being that they could spend little to no time together, mostly due to Byakuya's enormous workload and Renji no longer being able to his own.

He sighed contently and pushed himself closer into his lover's embrace. It made him feel so much at home, even when, in the last weeks, he'd felt a little abandoned with the man never being home for him. He'd go to sleep way after Renji and he'd be back at work before the redhead came even close to waking up.

But that wasn't what bothered him the moest, what did was the fact that even when Byakuya had some free time on his hands he so rarely spend it with him. Instead the noble spend a lot of his free time doing some more research about their link and his pregnancy in the library.

He gazed up at the sleeping face of his husband, feeling through the opened link that the man was actually nowhere close to waking up.

But apparently fate wasn't so kind to let the noble man get some of that much needed sleep as a servant knocked on their door, calling for the clanleader.

"Byakuya-sama. The council is requesting your presense."

"He'll be there soon." Renji called back as he saw his husband's eyes flutter open sleepily.

"Ah Renji-san. Thank you. I didn't think you'd already be awake but I guess that I can already tell you then that Unohana-taichou has asked for you."

"Alright. Could you please tell her I'll be around by noon."

"I will." And then he could hear the footsteps of the servant growing softer and farther away. He turned his eyes back to his lover's face, kissing those soft pink petals they called his lips.

Byakuya kissed back gently before sighing deeply as he sensed the disappointment and uncertainty radiating through their link.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled gently as he kissed those lips again, this time a little harder. "I really wish I could stay a little longer, but you know how the council is."

The redhead nodded and watched as Byakuya left the room after getting dressed in his 'clanleader-outfit' like Renji liked to call it.

He really wished Byakuya could be there more often thought. He missed out on a lot of things concerning the pregnancy. For example: last week their son –they already knew the gender since the beginning because of the fact that the chamber was altered in such a way to ensure a male heir- had kicked for the first time and Byakuya wasn't there to witness it.

Actually, the taichou still didn't know about that. He hadn't had the chance to tell the man yet as he was always so busy.

He sighed deeply and rolled onto his back, rubbing his swollen stomach gently, feeling the softly pulsing reiatsu under his hand.

He had actually planned on telling the ravenhaired man last night but he'd fallen asleep instead.

With a groan he sat up and walked into the dressing area, searching for his specially made Yukuta which still took him at least 10 minutes to put on, before finally sneaking towards the fourth division.

Well, at least sneaking was what he was trying to do, but instead he just kept running into people he really didn't want to see in his state.

Ikkaku for example, who kept teasing him about how fat he'd gotten. Well, more like big and round like he'd been a little too hungry and had swallowed a whole melon in one go.

And of course; where Ikkaku went, Yumichika followed along. The latter telling him constantly how very unbeautiful and weak he'd gotten as he waggled his way away from them as he decided to just ignore their statements and further his journey to the fourth.

But as he got closer and closer to the fourth division he kept hearing so many things he couldn't ignore so easily. Things mostly said by people who had no idea or just didn't notice that he was there, like the conversation he could so clearly hear right now for example.

"Hey did'ya hear 'bout Kuchiki-taichou?"

That was the thing that had gotten his attention you see, people from other squads talking about his taichou.

"Yeah, but Takashi you really shouldn't just believe rumors like that you know?"

"Aww. C'mon. But what if they're true?"

"Don't think so. He's married and he just doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd so easily cheat on his spouse, especially with said spouse being pregnant."

"But don't you think he is spending a little too time with that Ryoka boy lately? You have to admit it's weird. Maybe he just married abarai-fukutaichou because of that incident. Maybe he didn't have another choice?"

Renji's eyes widened at that. Not only didn't he know that Ichigo was here, but he was spending a lot of time with Byakuya? That DID sound suspicious and the thought that there was actually a possibility that the rumors where true clenched his heart, making his breathing just that little bit harsher, making it sound more like pants than actual breaths.

He bit his lip harshly. He couldn't believe to thoughts were actually flooding through his mind. He knew they weren't true because of their link. He'd know because Zabimaru would tell him such a thing. Even with the link being blocked by Byakuya sometimes in his working hours, he knew that Senbonzakura could still reach the noble and himself and Zabimaru as well. And okay, there was the possibility that he wouldn't tell them, but he trusted Senbonzakura already about as much as his own zanpakuto and he knew that the samurai respected him as well.

But he asked Zabimaru anyway, just for some reassurance which he –of course- immediately got from both the baboon and the samurai. There was no way that Byakuya could be with someone else without them noticing, and then there was the possibility of the link breaking when something like that happened because not only would it break the trust between them, but maybe even the love.

Not to mention that he could feel the love Byakuya felt for him through the link every time the block disappeared. The noble hadn't just married him for the honor and stuff, no, he had married him because he loved him. Even when that hadn't been the original official plan for the marriage.

He stumbled into the fourth division, feeling so extremely exhausted from all the thoughts flooding his mind that by the time he reached Unohana-taichou he could barely stand on his own two feet.

Such an amount of stress was really bad for him.

He sat down onto the examination table and waited for Unohana to do her work. She had requested to do some research so she would know how to treat him as well. Or the other pregnant males, she called beta's, for that matter. Because it seemed like lately there had been a few cases with Beta visored getting pregnant. Rose for example, who'd gotten pregnant –but didn't want to tell them who the father was- and had in the end decided for an abortion which had resulted in Unohana requesting help from the clanhealers.

"Renji."

The redhead snapped out of his thoughts at the familiar use of his name coming from the woman.

"…yes?"

"I'm going to put you on a rest leave and I do think that your clanhealer will agree with me. No more meetings because you seem to be under a lot of stress and it's harming not only yourself but your unborn child as well. I want you to relax as you can… alright? Go to the spa or something."

He nodded and moved to stand up but he was stopped almost immediately.

"Renji kun….. I'm sure that whatever is putting you under this amount of stress is not worth the risk of losing your child. Alright? Talk with Byakuya about it."

He nodded once again before –in his opinion- finally going home and dropping himself on the bed only to remain there for the rest of the day.

XXXXX

**AN: I've already written chapter 12 BUT first I'm going to write another chapter for HKK and OTR. Unless I get a lot of reviews on this chapter of course. Yes… I am once again bribing you. XD Hope you liked. Please review **


	12. Red desert

**AN: so I decided to upload this chapter already instead of my HKK and OTR first. Why? Cuz I'm kinda stuck on the other ones. Hope you enjoy.**

**XXXXX**

Byakuya barely kept back a groan when his office door burst open with a loud bang. He had just gotten ready with this enormous workload and was about to head home to see his now 12 weeks pregnant husband, but there was Kurosaki…. Again.

"Byakuya."

"What Kurosaki? I was about to head home. Can't you by some other time? Do you really have to come by here all the time? Aren't you finally together with Hitsugaya-taichou. I thought you were going to stop bothering me once I helped you getting his attention."

He took a sip of his tea and watched as the other man shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah well. Thank you for that. But that's actually not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here instead of with your new lover?"

"Because YOU forgot to mention that I could pregnant like you nobles can!"

The nobleman stared at the orangehaired teen, face void of any emotion but his head filled with an image he'd rather not have. "Nobles cannot get naturally pregnant Kurosaki. We forcibly put chambers in our bodies."

"Yeah well. Apparantly visored can! Unohana-taichou told me."

Even the teen was too scared of her to call her just Unohana or Retsu. And Byakuya didn't show it –as usually- but this conversation was making him very uneasy and that wasn't just because of the fact that what Ichigo was telling him was quite different from what he had expected to transpire between the two new lovers. Kurosaki the uke? Really? He couldn't decide if he should get nauseous or snort at the thought of Kurosaki being dominated by Hitsugaya, the boy only about half his size.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard his name being repeated over and over again, each time a little more desperate.

"What?"

"ARCH!? Since when do you drift off to fucking lalaland!?"

"Just repeat what you've been going on about so I can go home." He took another sip of his tea.

"I told you! I just went by Unohana-taichou because I was feeling sick and she suddenly told me that I'M PREGNANT GODDAMNIT!" The teen yelled the last part loudly, making Byakuya's ever so stoic expression turn into a very shocked and surprised one as he dropped his cup, spilling tea all over his desk."

XXXXXXXX

Renji's eyes widened, hand just inches away from the office door. He'd come by because he'd decided to pick up Byakuya for their long awaited date today. The man had promised him after they'd gotten into a bit discussion about the fact that he was never home, that he wasn't there to support him while he was carrying THEIR child. Oh yes, those hormones that were playing around in his pregnant body could prove to be quite the bitch.

His hand dropped back to his side as he lowered his gaze. He'd missed the fist part of the conversation but he could really only see one reason as to why Ichigo –who had already been spending quite a lot of time with his husband- would tell Byakuya that he was pregnant. And that reason wasn't one he particularly liked that much.

Ichigo was pregnant with Byakuya's child. The rumours had been true ,those two had been fucking, and he'd trusted the fact that their link would make it impossible for the man to do something like that behind his back.

He leaned against the wall next to the door, doing his best to keep the tears that were threatening to fall down his cheeks at bay. 'He was NOT going to cry' was what he kept telling himself, but he did so anyway, lowering his head onto his knees to hide the tears before just simply collapsing.

XXXXX

Byakuya sighed deeply as he finally got Ichigo out of his office after telling him about a dozen times that he was not the person he should be discussing this with. Although, Ichigo leaving didn't really last as long as he'd wished as the man stormed back inside almost immediately, a worried look all over his face.

"Byakua! Renji's collapsed outside!"

The nobleman was immediately on his feet and outside of his office, cradling the limp form of his pregnant redheaded lover.

'_What happened?_' He asked Zabimaru after searching for his presence.

'_What happened? You happened!" _The baboon answered with a glare sent directly in his soul. '_He came to pick you up and then he suddenly hears Ichigo talking about being pregnant and draws the damn wrong conclusion because of those stupid rumors!' _

Byakuya immediately glared at the teen after that before picking his lover up and flash stepping to the fourth division as fast as he possibly could. It was closer than his mansion, thus the better choise.

He stopped blocking out the link, a trick he had learned himself from some books so he could work more easily and thus faster, and he immediately felt his senses being overwhelmed by stress, heartbreak and an immense pain in his abdominal region.

There was no way that he'd missed all these emotions running around in Renji! He only blocked out the link when he was working, but never when he was home, even when he wasn't near Renji he loved feeling his presence while doing the research, his mind unconsciously searching for the readhead's. But how had he missed this!?

He knew Renji had been feeling stressful about things like the rumors but he had assured him more than a few times that they weren't true and that Ichigo was just bothering him for information, and on the fact that he was barely home he'd promised to take Renji out on a date at least once a weak and tune down the research to only 3 times a week.

'_That's because, while you found a way to block out the link so you could do your work without being disturbed, he found a way to hide what he was feeling from that link. That as well as the fact that your clan was teaching him, like they thought you, that a noble should have full control over his emotions at all time.'_

This pissed Byakuya off enormously. They really shouldn't teach stuff like that to him. No wonder he looks so broken right now!

It stayed silent in his head for a bit as he decided to never block out the link again, even when it helped him in doing his work faster, it wasn't worth losing Renji over, not in a million years. Renji was more important than his work. Something he'd never thought he'd hear himself think.

But suddenly Zabimaru spoke again. '_You can feel it right? That he's hiding himself away in our inner world, that he's hiding from us and that he is pushing us and the child away as well as pushing all of his reiatsu onto himself. He won't even let me approach the area he is in.' _

Byakuya nodded sadly. He could feel it alright. The pain Renji was feeling was overwhelming him in such a way that it made him numb and speechless.

They finally arrived at the fourth division, immediately being brought into an emergency room. He laid Renji down onto the examination table and let Unohana do her work as he decided to try and approach Renji in their inner world.

He searched for the man and when he finally found him hidden away in a cave in the middle of the red desert he found that he couldn't enter the cave at all.

"Renji! Renji please listen!"

The redhead glared at him as he saw the nobleman approach. "I can't believe you'D do this to me! I thought you loved me but instead you go and fuck Ichigo, even getting him pregnant! Am I not enough for you!? Is it because I'm a rukongai dog?"

Byakuya flinched at the words and forced his way into the cave, ignoring the feeling of needles and daggers all over his body while his longs were being squeezed.

"Renji. That's not true. Please believe me. I DO love you. Otherwise the link wouldn't have existed in the first place. Please do not make me lose you and our little baby boy.

"What about Ichigo?" The anger in Renji's eyes had subdued for a little bit, but the hurt was still there so clearly.

"He's not pregnant with my child. I never even looked at him that way. He's in love with Hitsugaya-taichou. That's why he kept stalking me, he was asking me for advice as how to approach him, so I helped him out but forgot to mention to him that visored could get pregnant. He's carrying Hitsugaya's child, not mine."

It stayed silent for a bit as Renji seemd to be pondering about that answer until the pressure around them finally started to lessen and he immediately took a now sobbing Renji into his arms, whispering about how sorry he was for not noticing the pain he had been feeling all this time and kissing him on top of his head in a loving gesture.

Renji was changing who he was and he knew it, but at this moment he didn't care. All he cared about was having Renji safe in his arms.

But then suddenly Renji apologized in a barely there, painful whisper.

"Renji. You don't have to apologize to me. You did nothing wrong."

"Yes I did. I'm sorry Byakuya. It's too late now." He mumbled before being lost in sobs again as the pressure around them started building again.

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**And I'm leaving you hanging on that cliff . Please review! :D **


	13. I'm Sorry Byakuya

Recap: _Renji was changing who he was and he knew it, but at this moment he didn't care. All he cared about was having Renji safe in his arms._

_But then suddenly Renji apologized in a barely there, painful whisper._

"_Renji. You don't have to apologize to me. You did nothing wrong."_

"_Yes I did. I'm sorry Byakuya. It's too late now." He mumbled before being lost in sobs again as the pressure around them started building again. _

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"Too late for what Renji?" the man whispered softly, panick only slightly there in his voice but so well felt in his heart. "Renji, come on love. Don't leave me." He held the redhead even tighter, not wanting to let him go in chance of losing the man.

"I'm sorry Byakuya." Renji mumbeled again. "I killed him. I already pushed him away from me, closed off every resource he needs for way too long. I killed our son and now it's my turn because I can never make up for that."

"No Renji come on. Don't do this to me. Please stay with me. Even if we already lost our son, even if you feel that's your fault, that you killed him. I don't want you to leave me. I won't hold what happened against you. I understand why it happened and I will never hate or blame you for it so please stay with me. I won't be able to handle losing the both of you."

The pressure that had been oh so slowly building up around them starting to decrease little by little as he whispered reassurances into the younger man's ear.

He waited until the pressure had completely gone away before making Renji look into his fear- and lovefilled purple-grey eyes.

"I am going to leave our inner world now okay? I'll be waiting for you outside for as long as you need to feel ready to come out. I'll talk to Unohana-taichou and the council when you wake up so you don't have to worry about anything okay?"

The redhead nodded softly, but even with Renji's agreement he still had to wait for at least ten to fifteen minutes for the younger man in which he talked to Unohana about the situation and asking her to keep it a seret from even her own fukutaichou and the head-captain. To which she only agreed after having him explain the reaction his council and housestaff would have if they ever found out what really happened. Disgust, hate even, and maybe they'd even decide to forcibly break their link and cancel their wedding.

Killing the heir, even unborn, was –as to be expected- not very well liked and would only result in more pain and stress for his redheaded husband. They were going to have to take this secret to their graves.

XXXX

By the time Renji finally opened his eyes, Byakya was already back at his side, his hand clutching the redhead's like it was his only lifeline. With a soft, gentle whisper he welcomed his lover back into the world of the conscious.

He noticed the way Renji was looking around th room nervously and bend forward to give him a loving kiss, whispering in the same gentle tone as before that he could relax. He was safe and shouldn't worry about a single thing. He would take care of everything.

"I only told Unohana for medical reasons and I called the council but we'll not tell them anything about what really happened alright? Just let me and Unohana-taichou do the talking and we should be fine."

But before Renji could even nod in agreement the door suddenly opened to reveal the council with mixed looks of emotions visible on their normally so stern faces. But not one of them came even close to any positive emotion, the best one being the neutral look on the head-elder's face.

Byakya searched for Renji's hand and held it tightlw as the head eleder – Yuu Kuchiki- stepped forward. "We got your news." He stated silently, noting the obvious pain and distress in Renji's eyes.

"How did this happen?"

"We are guessing that the stress from suddenly being thrown into a completely different, barely known lifestyle and enviroment, as well as being forced to change who he is, are what caused this to happen. The hormonal levels caused by those amounts of stress destabilized our son's reiryoku, thus resulting in a miscarriage."

Another elder stepped forward now. "Is this your theory or that of a trained healer." The gruff voice asked him in a not particular friendly manner. The man wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he didn't really believe the theory that was thrown in their faces.

"Both myself and Unohana-taichou agree on this. But I also remember clearly asking you to leave Renji alone, to not change who he was."

"But as your husband he has to learn the rules of the clan. We cannot have the husband of our clanleaders not knowing even the most basic rules of the house."

"Being forbidden to show what you feel is not one of those rules if I remember correctly. It is written nowhere that one should hide who he is and what he feels. And just to state it in your own words Takeshsan: He's a rukongai dog and not of noble blood, only in name is he one of the noble house. And even that doesn't give you the right to do what you did."

The man huffed, once again not agreeing with a thing his clanleader was saying.

"You will leave him be. I like him just the way he is. A free, wild person that has no boundaries in his power and will to do what is right. He will learn the rules, but you will not turn him into a second me, I will personally see to that. Now please leave us alone for a while so we can mourn. We just lost our first son."

Some of the elders nodded and they started leaving, all of them except for the head-elder.

"Byakuya-sama. I can clearly see that you aren't telling us something. I am not deceived as easily as the o ther. If this wasn't an accident but a choice Renji-sama made then we have a right to know."

The clanleader stared at him before once again telling him the same thing; that it was an accident and that he should talk to Unohana-taichou about it if he didn't believe the words he was speaking.

The clanleader waited until the head-elder finally left as well before turning back towards his husband. But even when he had expected it for a little bit, the tears streaming down Renji's cheecks still shocked him and made his heart clench in his chest.

"I'm so sorry Byakuya. I'm so sorry. I can't believe what I did. I'm so sorry." The apologies and sobs just kept coming out of those –normally soft but right now- bleeding lips. Even when the clanhead wrapped his arms around his lover tightly, going back to whispering reassurances in the younger one's ear.

"It's alright Renji. I don't blame you. We'll be alright."

"But I killed our son And I know you were looking forward to having him. You can't hide what you're feeling from me when I can look directly in your eyes."

The nobleman's ewes widened before the surprise in them dissapeared and made place for a loving look once again. A look preserved only for his precious lover.

"Renji." It came out as a breathless whisper as he wrapped his arms around the fragile man's form. "We'll be alright. I won't deny that the loss hurts me a lot. Because it does. But if I ever had to decide between you or our unborn child I would choose you each and every single time. And that may seem like the wrong choice to a lot of people; but to me it's the only choice I can make because I'm not sure I'd be able to life without you any longer. My life with you means everything to me."

A moment of silence followed in which neither of them moved for even a single inch. They just stayed in each other's arms until Byakuya could feel Renji sagging against him as the lieutenant fell asleep.

Byakuya sighed deeply and layed his husband back down onto the bed before crawling in next to him. And with a silently whispered 'I love you' and a gentle kiss to the sleeping man's forehead, he fell asleep as well.

But when Byakya woke up the next morning he immediately just knew that something wasn't right. First of all, Renji was drenched in sweat, probably from having a nightmare and that –having nightmares- was something which happened so rarely by itself. Even with all the stress he'd been going through these last weeks he'd never had a nightmare. Not one single time.

And second of all, he wasn't waking up, even with Byakya shaking him by his shoulder in his –not so well hidden- panick.

It took all he had for him not to run out of the room and scream for help. But he had just enough restraint left to collect himself and walk to Unohana's office and tell her that Renji wasn't waking up.

And it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. Renji had fallen into a coma and now there was nothing thew could do but keep him stable and healty, and wait for him to wake up by himself.

As soon as he had told her thew raced back to the redhead's room to make sure he was at least the first; stable, which he thankfully was.

Now all they could do was wait and keep him that way; stable. Maybe for hours or days, or maybe even for weeks, months, or in the worst case scenario; years.

And dear Kami was he hoping for either of the first two rather than the other ones. He may be an emotionally strong person but he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle watching husband go down like his wife did.

He waited until the healers left after hooking him up to some machines before sitting down next tot the bed and grabbing his husband's hand in a near-death grip.

"Please Renji. Don't keep me waiting by your bedside for too long. Wake up as soon as you can because I'm not sure I can handle seeing you like this for even a second longer than that."

He kissed the lieutenants hand gently, like a knight kissing the hand of his fair maiden.

"Just wake up as soon as you can and I'll be waiting right here for you to do so. That's a promise, not matter how long it takes."

XXXX

AN: I am so sorry it's taking me so long to update my stories. But school is really REALLY busy and well. Except for this story I still have to finish 2 more, and I'm –not so secretly anymore- writing another story which won't even be typed untill I finished at least 2 of the 3 ongoing ones.

Well. I hope you liked, please review.


	14. Hope

Long weeks passed and Byakuya never went out of the fourth division unless he really needed to attend some emergency bussiness. So unless something really bad happened he stayed in a bed next to Renji's and had food, tea, clothes, work and everything he needed brought to him by servants.

He had everything he needed. Except for a Renji who was clearly awake and grinning at him like he always used to. And he needed that Renji so much right now. Because after these 5 weeks of this lonely waiting for his beloved husband to wake up he wasn't sure he could handle any more of this.

He dropped his head onto the bed next to where his hand was holding Renji's. He was so tired, too tired to even care that he was showing it so well. In these past weeks he had told Renji so much about his life. Things which he hadn't told anybody, not even his grandfather. Things like the story about his first love, about how things were with Hisana, how even thought he'd loved her with everything in his heart he had still felt that something in the way he loved her wasn't right. It hadn't felt like what he was feeling with Renji right now. He had been devastated then, but he was feeling broken now.

It wasn't the same. It was a million times worse. He had survived Hisana's death. But he would in no way be able to handle Renji's.

And the thought of Renji dying nearly brought him to tears.

But it was the thing that happened next that really made the tears flow down his so very pale cheeks. He could feel Renji's hand twitch in his. It was just a single twitch, nothing more, but that single twitch gave him some hope.

Hope enough for him to look up into his husbands face to see the eyes screw shut and hear a groan coming from the man's lips.

He immediately stood up from the chair he was sitting in, not letting go of Renji's hand, just grabbing it even more tightly as he hoovered over the lieutenants face, watching for every single sign of life. He could hear is own rapidly flowing blood so loudly that he didn't even hear the door open and the healers rush inside to assist the redhead in his waking up.

The redhead's eyes opened slowly and their gazes met. A soft apologetic smile adorned his lips as he reached his hand up to touch his waiting husband's cheek.

"How long?" He asked in a soft whisper, his voice sounding broken after long weeks of not being used.

"5 weeks." Byakuya answered gently, laying his hand over the one on his cheek, enjoying the feeling of the other's reassuring palm.

Another weak apologetic smile played on Renji's lips before his hand suddenly fell down and his body started shaking harshly, making Byakuya's eyes widen in shock.

He could feel Hanataro Yamada pull him outside out of the room, waiting for him to meet his eyes before speaking about what the hell just happened.

"He went into a seizure. His body wasn't ready to wake up yet after what he'd done to himself. I'm guessing he pushed his body awake just to be able to tell you that he was still alive in there and to hold on, but by doing that his health made a serious drop, destabilizing him."

The Kuchiki clanleader nodded softly, knowing very well that keeping up a front right now was useless, seeing as how the 7th seat had seen him quite a few times these last weeks.

"How long will it take him to wake up again?" He asked in a slightly deadpan way, a part of him clinging to what he knew as to keep him emotionally stable right now.

"That will depend. They're now putting him on some other machines to keep an eye on more of his vitals as they induce him into another coma. We'll probably lessen the medication doing that a little each week, but after when the medication is completely gone it will completely depend on him. It can vary from 2 weeks 'till as long as his body needs to completely restore itself. I don't know what he did to himself to attack his spirit centers like that, but it is going to take some time."

Once again Byakuya nodded. They could say whatever they wanted about the little healer but he knew when to be professional. He thanked the healer and sat down, knowing that –right now- he wasn't allowed inside the room and it would only delay things more.

A little over an hour passed before Byakuya could hear the door open. He opened his tired eyes and looked up at the captain of the fourth division thanking her for her time.

She smiled at him and led him into the room, ordering him to sit down so she could check his health as well.

And when she was finally ready with that she gazed at the man with a stern gaze. "Kuchiki-taichou. You have to eat more. You are way too skinny. I shall send a message to your house with a diet for you to follow."

The once so stoic man nodded and waited for the woman to leave the room before lying down on his bed with a deep sigh.

For a moment, a single moment he had hoped that his waiting had been over and it had been so plausible. But it seemed like faith wanted to test him even more. He was going to have to wait for at least a few months longer untill the medication would be out of Renji's system, and even longer for his husband to wake up.

He should probably tell his staff to bring him some books as well because he was nearly out of stories to tell his beloved.

XXXXX

AN: I'm sorry it's such a short chapter, but with this chapter I wanted to make your skin crawl and heart clench at least a little in empathy with Byakuya.

Hope you still enjoyed tho. Please review? Let me know what you think?


	15. Hope II

A little over three months passed and Renji still wasn't waking up. The medication was long since gone out os his body but somehow he was still nowhere near the waking up part.

Byakuya had really hoped it would've gone a little faster, so that he could at least be there when the man woke up. Something that was nearly impossible right ow seeing as how Unohana-taichou had started forcing him to go outside a little more often.

First only to train a few hours per day, then the hours he was away just raised as he was also forced to go to his work a little more often. It didn't matter that his division was doing perfectly fine on their own – he, of course, didn't expect any different- but it wasn't really that wonderfull for the morale if both the taichou and the fukutaichou weren't present. One in a coma, the other always next to him.

Well, at least the people who had spread some rumours that they'd married because they had to had been proven wrong.

But just to thank his division for their hard work, he'd given them a few days of allowed them to throw a party on the sixth division training ground with food and drinks sponsored by his clan. A thank you they had very much enjoyed.

And then Unohana-taichou started telling him he really had to start coming to the captain's meetings again because the soutaichou was getting kind of annoyed with his long term of absense right now.

Not that the old man really blamed him for wanting to be by his husbands side during his coma, but there was work to be done.

So gradually he had started to take up more of his own (and Renji's) work again, after a while deciding that the distraction it gave him from Renji's state was at least worth the time he spend away from his redhead's side.

Thought every night he went to his husbands room, read him a story from one of the many books from the kuchiki library, and slept in the bed next to him.

And just to be sure that he wouldn't miss the moment his lover woke up he had made Unohana promise that she'd send for him as soon as there was even the slightest sign that he'd wake up.

And finally, today, after over 4 months since the man originally fell into a coma, the promised black butterfly fluttered through his window, sitting at the corner of his desk waiting for him to sign the paper he was working on and listen to the message he had.

He could only hope it was indeed a good message thought. Because not only had Unohana-taichou promised to send him a message when things got better, she'd also promised to send him one if things got worse.

With a heart clenching his heart he let the butterfly sit on top of his finger, waiting for it to speak it's message.

...

And within seconds after the swallowtail had ended it's message he started flash stepping towards the fourth division. He needed to be there. He needed to be there right now and he couldn't get there fast enough.

He stormed inside, going straight to Renji's room, knowing that there was no way in hell they were keeping him outside right now. Not with this happening right now.

He couldn't believe this was really happening.

...

Once inside Renji's room he immediately went to the younger man's side, seeing that Unohana's news had indeed been right. A tear rolled down his cheek as he gazed at his lover.

His waking lover. Thank God. A smile sneaked on his lips and into his eyes as he looked his husband into his eyes. "Hey." He whispered. "Welcome back my love."

The other man smiled back at him gently, even thought he could see the bags under his husbands eyes, and the still tired look on his face. "This time I'm here to stay thought," Came out in a crooked, tired, barely used voice. "Zabimura gave me a big scolding about what happened last time."

The noble man scoffed. "Of course he did." He said, but he just couldn't really wipe that smile of his face.

"He said that it was a real cruel thing to do, give you hope that I was awake and fine before crushing that hope again by going into a seizure. I'm sorry."

"apology accepted."

Byakuya leaned forward, trying his best to stay out of the way of the healers working on his husband as he kissed the younger man fully on the lips. God, that had been such a long time.

They seperated and it stayed silent for a just that little while before Renji spoke again. "He also told me that you tried to visit me in our inner world for so many times, but that you couldn't come anywhere near the forest." He reached out his hand, grabbing that of his lover, "Thank you for that Byakuya. It really helped me in my healing, knowing that you hadn't given up on me."

"I would never do such a thing. I love you too much for that. And you know that a part of my soul and heart would've died along with you if it had happened. I would've probably followed you into death not long after that."

He brought the redhead's hand to his lips, kissing it like a knight would kiss the fair lady's hand.

He still could only barely believe that this was finally really happening. Renji was finally awake and he was to stay so as well.

"How long before he can come home with me?" He asked Unohana, who by now was already done checking up on the lieutenant.

"A week, maybe less. It will depend on how fast everything goes from now on. But if you'll excuse me now. I have other patients to take care of."

The clanleader nodded at her as she walked to the door, watched her turn around just before she left, telling him that she also wished to speak to him about some things.

And of course both males knew what it was she wanted to talk about. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. She wanted to talk about Renji's mental condition. He was now officially someone who had tried to kill himself. They were going to have to talk about how they were going to take care of the therapy and about what signs to look out for.

He dared cast a look at Renji, seeing the man nod and smile at him. "It's allright. I know what's going to happen and I don't fear therapy. I think it would really do us good thought if we both went and not just me. I'm not the only one that suffered from losing our son, from me trying to kill myself, only with me it seems like it has only happened not even a week ago, and with you it has been months."

Byakuya nodded. "I promise. I'll come with you."

He could so easily see that even thought he really didn't fear what was going to happen; it was still scaring the man at least a little. And to be completely honest; he was quite scared of that as well. He wasn't used to speaking about how he felt to anyone except Renji. And even with the man it hadn't been the easiest thing to do.

But they were going to get through all of this and live a happy life eventually. He just knew it. But first, they were going to have to go through this, and the rumours that would accompany it. He had already heard quite a few of them, most from his housestaff, yapping to each other about how they were right, about that Renji wasn't able to carry a noble child because he was too wild.

Of course he'd answered quite sternly to that, telling them to quit that nonsense and show some respect to his husband. But he knew that they weren't going to stop babbling that easy and Renji was going to hear all the rumours eventually. There was no way he could stop that from happening. And he knew he would have to let it happen, would have to let Renji deal with it –with his support- so the man could get stronger again.

They were going to get through this, and get out of it stronger.

XXXXX

AN: God, we're finally getting somewhere. Oh and don't worry. This story isn't done yet I've still got lot's of stuff planned :D


	16. The road the recovery

Renji turned on his back, staring at the ceiling. Almost an entire month had passed since he woke up from his coma, and somehow things were really weird between him and Byakuya.

The coma had put some distance between them. Well maybe not so much the coma itself as what had actually caused the coma. Their son's death.

Their link had been narrowing in such a way that he could no longer hear the others thoughts and he could barely feel what the other was feeling.

It creeped him out.

And broke his heart.

He laid his arm over his eyes and let out a sob, trying his best not to wake up his lover that laying next to him, but failing at doing so.

"Renji?" Byakuya leaned up on his elbow, watching his sobbing lover. "Renji what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Renji." Within a second of time Byakuya had pulled his redheaded lover close to him, holding him tightly in his arms. "Shhh. Renji. I'm here. And I'm not holding anything against you."

"Then why is our link being blocked. I can feel it. I don't want our link to dissapear."

"It's not gonna dissapear love. I'll make sure of it."

"But then why?"

"I don't know. I just... you want me to be completely honest?"

The lieutenant nodded with an incredulous look on his face. "Of course I want you to be. Why wouldn't I want you to be?" Where lies have brought us such misery. He added silently in his mind

"I felt you shutting me out in the first week after you woke up, like you didn't want me to know what's going on in your head. And I decided to give you that, to give you time until you wanted to talk about it yourself. I've prodded the link every few days, trying to read what was going on in your head, but every time I looked it just closed down a little more so I figured you just weren't ready yet."

"I am. I want to talk about it. I...I thought you might not want to know." Renji mumbled as he cuddled even closer to his husband. "Can I tell you about it? You won't be mad?"

"I won't be mad. I promise."

"what about hurt?"

"I'm not gonna lie. It will probably hurt, but it should. The moment the death of our son doesn't hurt at least a little bit, ..." He didn't need to end that sentence for Renji to know what he meant, so the redhead nodded, taking a deep breath.

"When I collapsed, panicked, I started closing myself off, started pushing him away. And he reached out to me. Begged me... Begged me not to do it. " Only a few words in he started sobbing again. "He begged me to stop what I was doing and by the time I actually realised that I was killing him by pushing him away it was already too late. He even told me his name. He said he already had a name but had waited to let us know. His name was Mamoru. It means protector. And before he faded he told me he'd stick around to protect us and his little brothers and sisters."

"brothers and sisters? Multiple?"

The redhead nodded. "He didn't say how many. But he talked about multiple brothers and sistes. And that's what you get from all of that? Really?" Byakuya's reaction pulled a small chuckle from Renji, surprising the both of them.

"Yes, that's what I get from that." Byakuya said smiling softly, glad the mood had lightened at least a little bit. "Because the past is in the past. And I'm really glad you told me, because now I can tell you that I'm not the only one who forgives you. Our son does so as well." He kissed his husbands head gently. "And just to get this out, I'm very much looking forward to those brothers and sisters he was talking about."

"yes, I bet you are." Renji chuckled softly, a soft content feeling settling in him now that the mood was lightening, before snuggling closer to his husband and drifting back to sleep.

XXXX

When Renji woke up the next morning he could already feel the effects of their talk. The link between them had lightened again, but in a good way. It was like the fog clouding it was starting to clear, and it made him smile like he used to way before they went to Hueco Mundo that first time.

The smile widened as he snuggled closer to his still sleeping husband. But that didn't really last all that long because only a few minutes later a servant knocked on the door, telling them that the doctor was here to see them.

Well not really so much a doctor as a psychiatrist who was helping them in getting over their son's death.

"Byakuya." The redhead whispered gently. "Byakuya, Koga-san is here."

The noble's eyes blinked open as he gazed at his redheaded lover. "You tell him where we're going to meet. " He mumbled with a smile. He actually mumbled.

"The koi pond then." Renji said, loud enough for the servant to hear before sitting up and searching his clothes, not noticing Byakuya's soft smile.

A smile that was there because Renji only ever chose the koi pond when things were getting better, when he felt like things were actually going in the right direction.

Xxxx

Half an hour later they were sitting underneath the sakura tree closest to the koi pond, Koga-san already sititng in front of them with a little smile on her face.

She seemed to have noticed Renji's choice of location as well.

"So Renji. Judging by where we're meating, I'm guessing things are looking up. Why don't you tell me more about it?"

A bright blush immediatly covered Renji's face and he looked at Byakuya for help.

"He told me more about what happened to him." The nobleman says gently. "About what happened to Mamoru."

"Mamoru?"

"Our son." Renji stated with a soft but sad smile playing on his lips.

"So you decided on a name then? That's a great thing. It'll help with the grieving."

"Oh no. We didn't decide on the name." Byakuya says quickly. "Mamuro told Renji that night, right before it was too late." He pulled his lover closer and laid his chin on top of the redheads head. "I'm going to ask the artist who made our stone to put his name on it."

Koga smiled gently and nodded. "That's a wonderful idea. But now I would like to talk a little bit more about how it's going between the two of you. How is the link?"

"It's getting better. After he told me it started opening up again. "

"It's like a fog dissapearing." Renji added soflty, cuddling closer to the clanleader.

"Glad to see it is looking up for the both of you. Now for the embarassing part you both now is coming. How is is going with the both of you sexually? Last week, Renji, you still had trouble being touched. I see that that is going better already. But how is it going apart from that?"

Silence fell immediatly. Renji hated this question. He always felt like she didn't really have any bussiness with that part of his relationship. It was private. He didn't really want to talk about this. But he knew she only asks these questions to help them. To make sure that he doesn't completely shy away from Byakuya's touch. Because if he did that it could completely ruin what they had. It could ruin everything that stupid pink arrancar had given them. It may have been a game for the arrancar, a trap, but it brought him so much happiness, even for that short period of time. He had been so happy.

And then his stupid mistake had ruined it all.

He noticed too late that he had started crying again, gaining him a knowing look from both Koga-san and Byakuya before the latter gave him a tight hug, shushing him like you would a child.

"It's alright Renji. You don't have to feel guilty about what happened. I'll answer the question alright?"

The only answer Renji was really able to give him was a gentle, barely there nod, but it was all he really needed.

He turned to Koga-san who by now was staring at them with this sad look. This happened almost every time she asked that question but it was a nessecary one in the road to their recovery.

"We haven't really gotten any further than just hugs and cuddling. But I don't really need any more than that right now. I'm more than happy to wait for him."

"I'm pretty sure you are Byakuya-san. But I'm going to help you along for a bit. I've been waiting until you reached this point to give you both a little push in the right direction. I know from previous appointments that trust isn't really an issue anymore. It's more the fear of what could possibly happen if you have sex again. Even thought you both know that, without the help of the elders, it isn't even possible to get pregnant. So, I want you to work on kissing this week."

"why?"

"Because your progress is slow and there is actually nothing keeping you back except for the both of you, so I'm hoping that this will make you see that you don't need to 'fear' the sexual contact."

"alright. I guess I can understand that. Anything else?"

"Just do it in your own pace. I'm not expecting the both of you to be fully making out by the next appointment. Just some progress will do. Even the littlest bit of it."

She stood up and bowed. "I'll see you next week then."

The ravenhaired man nodded, watching as she walked away while still shushing Renji.

XXXXXX

**AN: I'm sorry it's so short. But I've had so little time to write and then when I actually had time I got stuck. So yeah.  
>Well. Meanwhile I also have an AOW-account. Same name. Rauwrtsch<br>I'll be reviewing some of my 'better' stories, take out plotmistakes, add some details, etc, and then add them there **


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